It just seems necessary that I open with these verses seeing that Kaleb proposed a week ago Saturday. It has been a long hard road filled with so many tears. This road started three and a half years ago on a world changers trip in San Diego. I met this dorky little boy and had no idea that he would forever change my life. A year later he followed his dream and went into the coast guard. We survived the eight week boot camp period with the only communication being letters. I still remember watching him graduate from bootcamp and feeling so proud of him for chasing his dreams and accomplishing them. He moved to New Orleans and I joined pi phi. Somewhere in that move I convinced myself that we were no longer meant to be together, so I selfishly ended it. For a year and a half we fought and cried and still told each other that we loved each other , while I tried very hard to tell god that there had to be someone else for me. Last July I flew into New Orleans after not seeing Kaleb for over a year, and I tried to have a horrible time. But let me tell you how hard it is to have a horrible time with your best friend. We laughed and giggled, we created so many more memories. And yet I still was trying to believe that he was meant to be with someone else. It wasn't until he flew into Albuquerque in August that I knew he was it for me! He is my best friend, and the love of my life. He is who god has for me.
I give the background because so many people know about the hard times. They know that I broke Kaleb's heart time and time again. And to those people all I can say is I am sorry. I made a ton of mistakes in that year and a half, but I can promise you I am so in love with him. People make mistakes, I just got really lucky and found a man who is willing to forgive me for the hurt I have caused him and willing to spend the rest of his life with me.
Our life hasn't been easy since we got back together. We are still facing a huge trial, and I am still not the perfect fiancé. But we are doing it! We our living our lives and still laughing our way through it. We our going to make it and live an amazing life, because god brought us together almost four years ago and is still working in us.
I ask that you continue to pray for healing for Kaleb, but also for our lives as we start them together. Pray that god moves in our courtship so that we have a great foundation starting our married life.
Dear Brittany, I love this so much. It takes so much courage to own our crap and even more to move on from it!!
ReplyDeleteRelationships are hard. I can say 17 years later... sometimes, it is STILL hard but when your foundation is Christ you will ALWAYS have hope!!
Tod and I were just like you and Kaleb. We were much older when we met but we were working for a Christian organization & dated long-distance. We both felt that God had called us to get married... eventhough we wavered back and forth sometimes questioning if we were doing the right thing. God always assured us that we were. I could tell you stories for DAYS about how God miraculously held us together through difficult circumstances over the years... it is soooo good when your relationship is founded on Him!!
I also want to encourage you that I have stalked you on facebook and prayed my heart out for you two and I can see it... I can see and hear how much you are growing... how much you WANT to love and serve God with all of your heart and love Kaleb with the love of Christ. It is hard in the easiest of times and I can't imagine how hard it is in this season of your life to have to face all of this so publically and with so much at stake. Continue to depend on Christ in you and you will live victoriously through all of it.
I hope that some day soon Tod, the kids and I will be able to spend some time with you and Kaleb... until then know that we are holding you both up in prayer daily and that we love you with all of our hearts.
Amy