Time Stops

There are few moments in life where the world stops turning. Moments where you know exactly what you were doing, and what those around you were doing. Moments where you can quickly describe the smells, your thoughts, and most importantly the way you were feeling. One of these moments was the day Kaleb broke his neck and the chaotic days to follow. 

My world did stop turning when he broke his neck, but it didn't happen the day of. My world stopped the day following the accident. See on the day of we didn't have much to go off of, I knew he had been in an accident. They told me he was going to go into surgery, and that they were happy he was talking. His friends told me not to fly down yet, because really no one thought it would be this. 

The day of the accident was still one of the most bizarre days of my life. I was continuing my 21st birthday celebration and having a great time when I received the call. The moments following that were moments of calmness, moments where I tried to find out all the details before it broke down. I truly believe you can learn so much about a person by watching the way they handle a tragedy. Are they resourceful out a giant puddle of tears, well in those beginning moments I tried very hard to be resourceful. As the night continued I was blessed enough to have a best friend who drove all the way out to the west side of Albuquerque to take me home. That's when I became I giant puddle of tears. I cried more with her that night than I ever truly thought was possible. Now let's stop there, the rest of that night was a hot mess. However one moment out of that entire night that I will never let go of is when Kaleb called me. He sounded so very scared and helpless, and yet all he wanted was to apologize and tell me how sorry he was. Our prayers for Kaleb's healing started right then and there, prayers for strength and healing. Those same prayers have not stopped. 

The next day was when the shock wore off. This day was a day where I knew I needed to get to New Orleans and I needed to get there fast. It was a day of tears on tears on more tears. 

It was also a day filled with false hope, I actual just read some of the tweets I had tweeted that day. One said Kaleb could feel his feet, the other said Kaleb could move his toes; neither of these were true. 

This day was filled with packing, which I quickly realized once I arrived in New Orleans that I did a horrible job at it. It was a day of being the crazy lady crying in the Dallas/love airport. It was a day of being picked up by his roommate, who became one of my dearest friends, and crying like a baby to him. It was a day of not eating or sleeping. It was the first day of many longer days. 

It was the first day of the journey. 

Consider it pure joy...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, (James 1:2 BOOKS)

This verse is a verse that I so often turned to in a time of need, and though I turned to it often it wasn't until recently that I grasped just a glimpse of what The Lord is saying here. Looking back on the past seven months of my life I could of handled it one of two ways, I could of become very angry at The Lord and at Kaleb. I could of lived my life in a deep depression choosing to not see the joy in the little things, which in turn would of very quickly hurt Kaleb's recovery. 

Or I could, and can, handle it in a state of joy. 

I truly am so very thankful for this situation, which to some of you may sound very very odd. I am thankful that it has brought Kaleb and I closer than we would of ever been without it. 

Because of this very injury we have had to completely readapt our lives, not necessarily a bad thing, but a thing. We had to humble ourselves, Kaleb obviously physically and mentally. But for me it was a bit of both as well, lets be honest people look at us a little different, we do things a little different, and we live a little different. Our lives are no worse or better than the people next door, they are just a little different. The best part of our lives being completely turned upside down is we were able to find our own right side up. 

I can also so I am incredible thankful for this injury and the wisdom it has brought. After facing an injury like this you learn to not forget about the little things in life. I can promise you Kaleb is looking forward to simple walking down the street again, and I am looking forward to holding his hand and taking twice as many steps to keep up with him. But besides learning that we shouldn't take the little things for granted I have so much more biblical wisdom. I can truthfully sit here and tell you that this wisdom comes from The Lord. This wisdom has been a gift which I am so incredibly blessed to have. This wisdom comes from lots of me and God time praying for healing, patience, strength, and wisdom. The Lord is faithful lord and has not forsaken us in this time of need. 

Well while I'm on here I can't help but brag about Kaleb's miracle, in which I am lucky to be apart of. As of recent Kaleb has most of his left leg back and his right leg is coming right along. After a recent Asia test is confirmed that more sensation and feeling has come back in his right leg. His back muscles have come back along with his trunk muscles. He is doing incredible in the NRN, which is a huge blessing in it of itself. He is practicing standing out of the harness and is doing very well as far as that goes. As far as that head of his goes, well he is just the same ol Kaleb that I fell in love with almost four years ago. 

Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love. And try to remember that yes we are called to consider trials joy. not because God is commanding it of you, but he knows it makes those trials so much easier. Plus he will only give you what you can handle! 

Brittany Marie