Brittany Marie Heronimus

As I sit here trying to find the right words to type, I have decided it best just to let them flow. See this is one of those post that I can't find the exact structure I want, or the perfect words to say, but I know that the feeling I'm experiencing now need to be documented. See in really now one day I will walk down the aisle to my best friend and become his bride. I am feeling joy, absolute joy knowing that this is the one god has planned to be my husband. I am feeling stress as the biggest day in my life so far is quickly approaching. I am a little sad knowing that all the time and effort we have put into this will soon be over. My heart is a little heavy as it becomes more and more real that I will no longer be BRITTANY MARIE HERONIMUS. 

Heronimus, is more than just a name, it was a choice. I chose to take on the last name of the man who was willing to raise me as his own. I chose to represent him every where I went. I chose to forsake my given name in order to honor him. It's not just a name, but yet the biggest example of love I could ever show my daddy. And yet in one short day it will be over and I will take on a

new last name. 

Wilson, the name that I practiced writing a million times. The name that represents our future family. Yes he was raised a Wilson, but now it is time to start our own Wilson family. I don't feel as though I am only taking on his last name, I feel as though we are creating our last name. We, together as a unit, are the Wilsons now. 

Saturday is the biggest day in our lives to date. But the best part is we have so many amazing big days to look forward to. We get to experience every victory and defeat together. We get to laugh and cry our way through the years, as the Wilsons. So tonight I maybe just a little sad that's all coming to an end, but Sunday will be the first day of the rest of our life. I cannot wait to be MRS BRITTANY MARIE WILSON.  

Serendipity

Serendipity 

1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

This accident is my serendipity....

When we started this adventure I was sad, angry, confused, and frustrated. I named this blog "An adventure no one would want," and I believed that. I truly thought that God had dealt us a curse. I thought that this was going to be my world, a sad and angry world. 

Then came the day I realized that this was my serendipity. This was my desirable discover that changed my entire life! This is an adventure that I wouldn't change in a million years! This is the path that The Lord has chosen for us, and so yes I will worship in this storm. 

This adventure is the adventure to fall so in love with The Lord! This adventure is the adventure to fall head over heels in love with the man of my dreams! This adventure is the opportunity to help others through our pain and sorrows! This is an adventure of a lifetime, and I am beyond blessed to call it my very own serendipity!  

But The Greatest Of These Is Love

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)

When I was 18 I waltz my newly legal but into the tattoo parlor and sat down to get my second tattoo. I had chosen three of the most beautiful words in the English language, words that were part of the love chapter. These words were absolutely beautiful to me at the time, they reminded me of our Heavenly Father's promise to us. These words were "Faith, Hope, and Love", words that many others have tattooed on their bodies. 

Now four years later I sometimes get a glimpse of these words forever inscribed on my body and they mean so so much more. I look back over the past year of my life and realize without those three words this trial would have been unbearable. These words are how we make it through ever day. Every time I look back over the last year and begin to feel sorry for us and for our lives I am consumed with hope for the future. I know The Lord has a wonderful plan for our future and that his goal is to use this for his glory. The amount of faith we have to have to get through this is amazing, and when my faith begins to waver I know that The Lord will grant me with faith to move mountains. 

But at the end of the day the greatest of these remains, and that is love. Our love today is stronger than it has ever been, and I have God to thank for that. When you're faced with the worse you can either face it alone, or fight it together. I didn't have to choose this life, but I can't imagine leaving this life. I would much rather spend my life with faith, hope, and mostly love, rather than taking the easy road out. 

With love,

Brittany Marie 

The worst blogger ever!

So I am pretty sure I have to be one of the worst bloggers in history. The fact  that I can go months and months without typing a single word proves just how completely awful I am at the whole entire thing. Believe me though it's not that I don't have any inspiration, I am marrying a miracle in five months! (That was my way of hinting just how close we are till the big day). It's just that I don't take the time to bust out a few paragraphs, and for that I am very sorry. 

So let's just review really fast what all has happened the past few months. Kaleb is walking with a walking, yep just let that sink in. Now he doesn't walk with it at home just yet, but that will happen as soon as his straight leg brace comes in. We feel extremely blessed to be working with a therapist who truly believes that walking is something he will do. She is going above and beyond to make sure that he is walking at the wedding. Something that I honestly was beginning to accept not happening. God has been just so amazing in healing Kaleb and yet showing us that our lives in the chair are not awful. We can still do everything we want to do, it just maybe a little different. 

We just experienced one of the worst moving experiences we could have ever had! We had inquired about these apartments in late October and was told that the unit we would be living in was handicap accessible, so we didn't think any more about it. Then came moving day... It was not at all accessible, he couldn't fit into the restroom at all!!! So after two days of completely praying and stressing and praying and stressing they finally moved us into a new apartment. Oh but don't worry there was still more stress to come, like the fact that they didn't want to accept our pay stubs as proof of our income, or the fact that we had to move more than half our stuff from the seventh floor to the fourth floor. And oh did I mention Kaleb is in a wheel chair. 

Well the point behind that entire story was for me to tell you that I was truly humbled after all of the chaos. I had no other choice than to trust God with all of my heart and to know that he will provide. It it so very easy to trust him with the huge stuff, like Kaleb's miracle, and yet with the smaller things sometimes I feel as though I could solve the problem faster. Day by day I am learning that God is in control of every situation and truly wants the best for us. 

Well that was my rant for the day, 

Brittany Marie    

Time Stops

There are few moments in life where the world stops turning. Moments where you know exactly what you were doing, and what those around you were doing. Moments where you can quickly describe the smells, your thoughts, and most importantly the way you were feeling. One of these moments was the day Kaleb broke his neck and the chaotic days to follow. 

My world did stop turning when he broke his neck, but it didn't happen the day of. My world stopped the day following the accident. See on the day of we didn't have much to go off of, I knew he had been in an accident. They told me he was going to go into surgery, and that they were happy he was talking. His friends told me not to fly down yet, because really no one thought it would be this. 

The day of the accident was still one of the most bizarre days of my life. I was continuing my 21st birthday celebration and having a great time when I received the call. The moments following that were moments of calmness, moments where I tried to find out all the details before it broke down. I truly believe you can learn so much about a person by watching the way they handle a tragedy. Are they resourceful out a giant puddle of tears, well in those beginning moments I tried very hard to be resourceful. As the night continued I was blessed enough to have a best friend who drove all the way out to the west side of Albuquerque to take me home. That's when I became I giant puddle of tears. I cried more with her that night than I ever truly thought was possible. Now let's stop there, the rest of that night was a hot mess. However one moment out of that entire night that I will never let go of is when Kaleb called me. He sounded so very scared and helpless, and yet all he wanted was to apologize and tell me how sorry he was. Our prayers for Kaleb's healing started right then and there, prayers for strength and healing. Those same prayers have not stopped. 

The next day was when the shock wore off. This day was a day where I knew I needed to get to New Orleans and I needed to get there fast. It was a day of tears on tears on more tears. 

It was also a day filled with false hope, I actual just read some of the tweets I had tweeted that day. One said Kaleb could feel his feet, the other said Kaleb could move his toes; neither of these were true. 

This day was filled with packing, which I quickly realized once I arrived in New Orleans that I did a horrible job at it. It was a day of being the crazy lady crying in the Dallas/love airport. It was a day of being picked up by his roommate, who became one of my dearest friends, and crying like a baby to him. It was a day of not eating or sleeping. It was the first day of many longer days. 

It was the first day of the journey. 

You Never Realize Its The Last Time

Yesterday was Kaleb's wonderful birthday, and as always birthdays bring joy and happiness along with hope for another year. This birthday brought all of those things along with a little bit of sadness. See not only did it mark another year of Kaleb's life, it also marked the one year mark since my last recreational trip to New Orleans for his birthday. 

That trip was at the time one to remember, now it is one I will hold onto for the rest of my life. That trip would be the last time Kaleb and I would ever walk hand in hand together. That trip would be the last time he gave me a piggy back ride. That trip is the trip that I picked out some life changing jewelry. I can practically tell you every detail of that entire adventure of a weekend. Some details have faded with time, and some well some were lost on bourbon street ;). But the most important ones will forever stay close to my heart. 

I guess part of the reason these memories are so very perfect are because we didn't know. We had no idea what life changing event would happen in the span of a very short month. We lived our life careless and free the way it had always been. We laughed so hard at the most stupid of things. We spent hours looking at pieces of antiques and art that believe me I would love to have. We spent an amazing evening with some of his closest friends. And the very last day I has with him pre accident was spent being a normal couple baking a pizza and watching tv. 

So I have said it several times, that these were all the last time that they would happen. And sometimes it truly feels like I will never get a piggy back ride again, but what I do get is to ride on his lap when my feet hurt. And yes I would love to be able to walk the street holding his, but I get to push him and hey that's close enough. Plus I have a god who is healing Kaleb and I know when it's his time we will walk hand in hand again. Just having to be a little patient. 

In him, 

Brittany Marie 

An Inner Strenth

1 Peter 5:10
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Oh my goodness has it been a while since I actually took the time to sit down and write, which in some ways means life is going good. So let's see what has happened in the past few months that is worth sharing.... OH YA KALEB IS WALKING! Now just to clarify he is not walking around the house or walking on his own. Kaleb is walking with assistance from both a walker and a physical therapist, but that in itself is the most incredible blessing. It is something that I was becoming comfortable with the idea that it may never happen, and then with a ton of prayer and a ton of hard work and dedication on Kaleb's side he is working towards doing it again.

Now for the record, and since this is my own blog, let me tell you the past couple of months have not been the rainbows and butterflies that you may think. They have still been filled with tears and disappointments, frustration and some not so very nice words, but most of all a whole lot of love. Our lives are still very different from the paths that we both once thought they would take. There are still things that I personally have had to do for my soon to be husband that I never thought I would have to do. There have been multiple times that all I could do was call my wonderful blessing of a momma and cry to her because to be completely honest I am tired. It is a tired that is extremely hard to explain, it is a tired that is not only emotionally brought on but physically as well.  It is the kind of tired that only God can give the rest that is needed. And our gracious God has not forsaken me in this situation. Sometimes all it takes is a good cry and a few uplifting words from my momma and Kaleb to remember that the Lord has blessed me with an amazing amount of strength. If you would of told me a year ago that this would be what my life would look like I would have told you no way. I would have never expected to grow up and mature as fast as I have. I would have told you I am not strong enough to handle something this extreme, and that I am the biggest baby in the world. I would have tried to convince you that I need to be taken care of.

Now a year later, I have more spiritual strength than I ever have. My life is on a completely different plan than I ever thought possible. I live in a city that I am not a fan of. I haven't made it home to see my family in months. I missed that balloon fiesta for the first time in 21 years. I won't be home for Christmas Adam. But all of that aside I am marrying the man of my dreams. I am living a miracle. I am watching this miracle and knowing that so many people lives are being enriched because of it.

I am living the life that God has had planned for me.

sorry for the rant

Brittany Marie :)