You Never Realize Its The Last Time

Yesterday was Kaleb's wonderful birthday, and as always birthdays bring joy and happiness along with hope for another year. This birthday brought all of those things along with a little bit of sadness. See not only did it mark another year of Kaleb's life, it also marked the one year mark since my last recreational trip to New Orleans for his birthday. 

That trip was at the time one to remember, now it is one I will hold onto for the rest of my life. That trip would be the last time Kaleb and I would ever walk hand in hand together. That trip would be the last time he gave me a piggy back ride. That trip is the trip that I picked out some life changing jewelry. I can practically tell you every detail of that entire adventure of a weekend. Some details have faded with time, and some well some were lost on bourbon street ;). But the most important ones will forever stay close to my heart. 

I guess part of the reason these memories are so very perfect are because we didn't know. We had no idea what life changing event would happen in the span of a very short month. We lived our life careless and free the way it had always been. We laughed so hard at the most stupid of things. We spent hours looking at pieces of antiques and art that believe me I would love to have. We spent an amazing evening with some of his closest friends. And the very last day I has with him pre accident was spent being a normal couple baking a pizza and watching tv. 

So I have said it several times, that these were all the last time that they would happen. And sometimes it truly feels like I will never get a piggy back ride again, but what I do get is to ride on his lap when my feet hurt. And yes I would love to be able to walk the street holding his, but I get to push him and hey that's close enough. Plus I have a god who is healing Kaleb and I know when it's his time we will walk hand in hand again. Just having to be a little patient. 

In him, 

Brittany Marie