Brittany Marie Heronimus

As I sit here trying to find the right words to type, I have decided it best just to let them flow. See this is one of those post that I can't find the exact structure I want, or the perfect words to say, but I know that the feeling I'm experiencing now need to be documented. See in really now one day I will walk down the aisle to my best friend and become his bride. I am feeling joy, absolute joy knowing that this is the one god has planned to be my husband. I am feeling stress as the biggest day in my life so far is quickly approaching. I am a little sad knowing that all the time and effort we have put into this will soon be over. My heart is a little heavy as it becomes more and more real that I will no longer be BRITTANY MARIE HERONIMUS. 

Heronimus, is more than just a name, it was a choice. I chose to take on the last name of the man who was willing to raise me as his own. I chose to represent him every where I went. I chose to forsake my given name in order to honor him. It's not just a name, but yet the biggest example of love I could ever show my daddy. And yet in one short day it will be over and I will take on a

new last name. 

Wilson, the name that I practiced writing a million times. The name that represents our future family. Yes he was raised a Wilson, but now it is time to start our own Wilson family. I don't feel as though I am only taking on his last name, I feel as though we are creating our last name. We, together as a unit, are the Wilsons now. 

Saturday is the biggest day in our lives to date. But the best part is we have so many amazing big days to look forward to. We get to experience every victory and defeat together. We get to laugh and cry our way through the years, as the Wilsons. So tonight I maybe just a little sad that's all coming to an end, but Sunday will be the first day of the rest of our life. I cannot wait to be MRS BRITTANY MARIE WILSON.  

Serendipity

Serendipity 

1. an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

This accident is my serendipity....

When we started this adventure I was sad, angry, confused, and frustrated. I named this blog "An adventure no one would want," and I believed that. I truly thought that God had dealt us a curse. I thought that this was going to be my world, a sad and angry world. 

Then came the day I realized that this was my serendipity. This was my desirable discover that changed my entire life! This is an adventure that I wouldn't change in a million years! This is the path that The Lord has chosen for us, and so yes I will worship in this storm. 

This adventure is the adventure to fall so in love with The Lord! This adventure is the adventure to fall head over heels in love with the man of my dreams! This adventure is the opportunity to help others through our pain and sorrows! This is an adventure of a lifetime, and I am beyond blessed to call it my very own serendipity!  

But The Greatest Of These Is Love

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)

When I was 18 I waltz my newly legal but into the tattoo parlor and sat down to get my second tattoo. I had chosen three of the most beautiful words in the English language, words that were part of the love chapter. These words were absolutely beautiful to me at the time, they reminded me of our Heavenly Father's promise to us. These words were "Faith, Hope, and Love", words that many others have tattooed on their bodies. 

Now four years later I sometimes get a glimpse of these words forever inscribed on my body and they mean so so much more. I look back over the past year of my life and realize without those three words this trial would have been unbearable. These words are how we make it through ever day. Every time I look back over the last year and begin to feel sorry for us and for our lives I am consumed with hope for the future. I know The Lord has a wonderful plan for our future and that his goal is to use this for his glory. The amount of faith we have to have to get through this is amazing, and when my faith begins to waver I know that The Lord will grant me with faith to move mountains. 

But at the end of the day the greatest of these remains, and that is love. Our love today is stronger than it has ever been, and I have God to thank for that. When you're faced with the worse you can either face it alone, or fight it together. I didn't have to choose this life, but I can't imagine leaving this life. I would much rather spend my life with faith, hope, and mostly love, rather than taking the easy road out. 

With love,

Brittany Marie 

The worst blogger ever!

So I am pretty sure I have to be one of the worst bloggers in history. The fact  that I can go months and months without typing a single word proves just how completely awful I am at the whole entire thing. Believe me though it's not that I don't have any inspiration, I am marrying a miracle in five months! (That was my way of hinting just how close we are till the big day). It's just that I don't take the time to bust out a few paragraphs, and for that I am very sorry. 

So let's just review really fast what all has happened the past few months. Kaleb is walking with a walking, yep just let that sink in. Now he doesn't walk with it at home just yet, but that will happen as soon as his straight leg brace comes in. We feel extremely blessed to be working with a therapist who truly believes that walking is something he will do. She is going above and beyond to make sure that he is walking at the wedding. Something that I honestly was beginning to accept not happening. God has been just so amazing in healing Kaleb and yet showing us that our lives in the chair are not awful. We can still do everything we want to do, it just maybe a little different. 

We just experienced one of the worst moving experiences we could have ever had! We had inquired about these apartments in late October and was told that the unit we would be living in was handicap accessible, so we didn't think any more about it. Then came moving day... It was not at all accessible, he couldn't fit into the restroom at all!!! So after two days of completely praying and stressing and praying and stressing they finally moved us into a new apartment. Oh but don't worry there was still more stress to come, like the fact that they didn't want to accept our pay stubs as proof of our income, or the fact that we had to move more than half our stuff from the seventh floor to the fourth floor. And oh did I mention Kaleb is in a wheel chair. 

Well the point behind that entire story was for me to tell you that I was truly humbled after all of the chaos. I had no other choice than to trust God with all of my heart and to know that he will provide. It it so very easy to trust him with the huge stuff, like Kaleb's miracle, and yet with the smaller things sometimes I feel as though I could solve the problem faster. Day by day I am learning that God is in control of every situation and truly wants the best for us. 

Well that was my rant for the day, 

Brittany Marie    

Time Stops

There are few moments in life where the world stops turning. Moments where you know exactly what you were doing, and what those around you were doing. Moments where you can quickly describe the smells, your thoughts, and most importantly the way you were feeling. One of these moments was the day Kaleb broke his neck and the chaotic days to follow. 

My world did stop turning when he broke his neck, but it didn't happen the day of. My world stopped the day following the accident. See on the day of we didn't have much to go off of, I knew he had been in an accident. They told me he was going to go into surgery, and that they were happy he was talking. His friends told me not to fly down yet, because really no one thought it would be this. 

The day of the accident was still one of the most bizarre days of my life. I was continuing my 21st birthday celebration and having a great time when I received the call. The moments following that were moments of calmness, moments where I tried to find out all the details before it broke down. I truly believe you can learn so much about a person by watching the way they handle a tragedy. Are they resourceful out a giant puddle of tears, well in those beginning moments I tried very hard to be resourceful. As the night continued I was blessed enough to have a best friend who drove all the way out to the west side of Albuquerque to take me home. That's when I became I giant puddle of tears. I cried more with her that night than I ever truly thought was possible. Now let's stop there, the rest of that night was a hot mess. However one moment out of that entire night that I will never let go of is when Kaleb called me. He sounded so very scared and helpless, and yet all he wanted was to apologize and tell me how sorry he was. Our prayers for Kaleb's healing started right then and there, prayers for strength and healing. Those same prayers have not stopped. 

The next day was when the shock wore off. This day was a day where I knew I needed to get to New Orleans and I needed to get there fast. It was a day of tears on tears on more tears. 

It was also a day filled with false hope, I actual just read some of the tweets I had tweeted that day. One said Kaleb could feel his feet, the other said Kaleb could move his toes; neither of these were true. 

This day was filled with packing, which I quickly realized once I arrived in New Orleans that I did a horrible job at it. It was a day of being the crazy lady crying in the Dallas/love airport. It was a day of being picked up by his roommate, who became one of my dearest friends, and crying like a baby to him. It was a day of not eating or sleeping. It was the first day of many longer days. 

It was the first day of the journey. 

You Never Realize Its The Last Time

Yesterday was Kaleb's wonderful birthday, and as always birthdays bring joy and happiness along with hope for another year. This birthday brought all of those things along with a little bit of sadness. See not only did it mark another year of Kaleb's life, it also marked the one year mark since my last recreational trip to New Orleans for his birthday. 

That trip was at the time one to remember, now it is one I will hold onto for the rest of my life. That trip would be the last time Kaleb and I would ever walk hand in hand together. That trip would be the last time he gave me a piggy back ride. That trip is the trip that I picked out some life changing jewelry. I can practically tell you every detail of that entire adventure of a weekend. Some details have faded with time, and some well some were lost on bourbon street ;). But the most important ones will forever stay close to my heart. 

I guess part of the reason these memories are so very perfect are because we didn't know. We had no idea what life changing event would happen in the span of a very short month. We lived our life careless and free the way it had always been. We laughed so hard at the most stupid of things. We spent hours looking at pieces of antiques and art that believe me I would love to have. We spent an amazing evening with some of his closest friends. And the very last day I has with him pre accident was spent being a normal couple baking a pizza and watching tv. 

So I have said it several times, that these were all the last time that they would happen. And sometimes it truly feels like I will never get a piggy back ride again, but what I do get is to ride on his lap when my feet hurt. And yes I would love to be able to walk the street holding his, but I get to push him and hey that's close enough. Plus I have a god who is healing Kaleb and I know when it's his time we will walk hand in hand again. Just having to be a little patient. 

In him, 

Brittany Marie 

An Inner Strenth

1 Peter 5:10
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Oh my goodness has it been a while since I actually took the time to sit down and write, which in some ways means life is going good. So let's see what has happened in the past few months that is worth sharing.... OH YA KALEB IS WALKING! Now just to clarify he is not walking around the house or walking on his own. Kaleb is walking with assistance from both a walker and a physical therapist, but that in itself is the most incredible blessing. It is something that I was becoming comfortable with the idea that it may never happen, and then with a ton of prayer and a ton of hard work and dedication on Kaleb's side he is working towards doing it again.

Now for the record, and since this is my own blog, let me tell you the past couple of months have not been the rainbows and butterflies that you may think. They have still been filled with tears and disappointments, frustration and some not so very nice words, but most of all a whole lot of love. Our lives are still very different from the paths that we both once thought they would take. There are still things that I personally have had to do for my soon to be husband that I never thought I would have to do. There have been multiple times that all I could do was call my wonderful blessing of a momma and cry to her because to be completely honest I am tired. It is a tired that is extremely hard to explain, it is a tired that is not only emotionally brought on but physically as well.  It is the kind of tired that only God can give the rest that is needed. And our gracious God has not forsaken me in this situation. Sometimes all it takes is a good cry and a few uplifting words from my momma and Kaleb to remember that the Lord has blessed me with an amazing amount of strength. If you would of told me a year ago that this would be what my life would look like I would have told you no way. I would have never expected to grow up and mature as fast as I have. I would have told you I am not strong enough to handle something this extreme, and that I am the biggest baby in the world. I would have tried to convince you that I need to be taken care of.

Now a year later, I have more spiritual strength than I ever have. My life is on a completely different plan than I ever thought possible. I live in a city that I am not a fan of. I haven't made it home to see my family in months. I missed that balloon fiesta for the first time in 21 years. I won't be home for Christmas Adam. But all of that aside I am marrying the man of my dreams. I am living a miracle. I am watching this miracle and knowing that so many people lives are being enriched because of it.

I am living the life that God has had planned for me.

sorry for the rant

Brittany Marie :)

Consider it pure joy...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, (James 1:2 BOOKS)

This verse is a verse that I so often turned to in a time of need, and though I turned to it often it wasn't until recently that I grasped just a glimpse of what The Lord is saying here. Looking back on the past seven months of my life I could of handled it one of two ways, I could of become very angry at The Lord and at Kaleb. I could of lived my life in a deep depression choosing to not see the joy in the little things, which in turn would of very quickly hurt Kaleb's recovery. 

Or I could, and can, handle it in a state of joy. 

I truly am so very thankful for this situation, which to some of you may sound very very odd. I am thankful that it has brought Kaleb and I closer than we would of ever been without it. 

Because of this very injury we have had to completely readapt our lives, not necessarily a bad thing, but a thing. We had to humble ourselves, Kaleb obviously physically and mentally. But for me it was a bit of both as well, lets be honest people look at us a little different, we do things a little different, and we live a little different. Our lives are no worse or better than the people next door, they are just a little different. The best part of our lives being completely turned upside down is we were able to find our own right side up. 

I can also so I am incredible thankful for this injury and the wisdom it has brought. After facing an injury like this you learn to not forget about the little things in life. I can promise you Kaleb is looking forward to simple walking down the street again, and I am looking forward to holding his hand and taking twice as many steps to keep up with him. But besides learning that we shouldn't take the little things for granted I have so much more biblical wisdom. I can truthfully sit here and tell you that this wisdom comes from The Lord. This wisdom has been a gift which I am so incredibly blessed to have. This wisdom comes from lots of me and God time praying for healing, patience, strength, and wisdom. The Lord is faithful lord and has not forsaken us in this time of need. 

Well while I'm on here I can't help but brag about Kaleb's miracle, in which I am lucky to be apart of. As of recent Kaleb has most of his left leg back and his right leg is coming right along. After a recent Asia test is confirmed that more sensation and feeling has come back in his right leg. His back muscles have come back along with his trunk muscles. He is doing incredible in the NRN, which is a huge blessing in it of itself. He is practicing standing out of the harness and is doing very well as far as that goes. As far as that head of his goes, well he is just the same ol Kaleb that I fell in love with almost four years ago. 

Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love. And try to remember that yes we are called to consider trials joy. not because God is commanding it of you, but he knows it makes those trials so much easier. Plus he will only give you what you can handle! 

Brittany Marie 

A break for love

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT)

It just seems necessary that I open with these verses seeing that Kaleb proposed a week ago Saturday. It has been a long hard road filled with so many tears. This road started three and a half years ago on a world changers trip in San Diego. I met this dorky little boy and had no idea that he would forever change my life. A year later he followed his dream and went into the coast guard. We survived the eight week boot camp period with the only communication being letters. I still remember watching him graduate from bootcamp and feeling so proud of him for chasing his dreams and accomplishing them. He moved to New Orleans and I joined pi phi. Somewhere in that move I convinced myself that we were no longer meant to be together, so I selfishly ended it. For a year and a half we fought and cried and still told each other that we loved each other , while I tried very hard to tell god that there had to be someone else for me. Last July I flew into New Orleans after not seeing Kaleb for over a year, and I tried to have a horrible time. But let me tell you how hard it is to have a horrible time with your best friend. We laughed and giggled, we created so many more memories. And yet I still was trying to believe that he was meant to be with someone else. It wasn't until he flew into Albuquerque in August that I knew he was it for me! He is my best friend, and the love of my life. He is who god has for me.

I give the background because so many people know about the hard times. They know that I broke Kaleb's heart time and time again. And to those people all I can say is I am sorry. I made a ton of mistakes in that year and a half, but I can promise you I am so in love with him. People make mistakes, I just got really lucky and found a man who is willing to forgive me for the hurt I have caused him and willing to spend the rest of his life with me.

Our life hasn't been easy since we got back together. We are still facing a huge trial, and I am still not the perfect fiancé. But we are doing it! We our living our lives and still laughing our way through it. We our going to make it and live an amazing life, because god brought us together almost four years ago and is still working in us.

I ask that you continue to pray for healing for Kaleb, but also for our lives as we start them together. Pray that god moves in our courtship so that we have a great foundation starting our married life.

Scatter brained

Well we we are home, actually we have been home for a little over a month. It has been an adventure with so so much to share so this post may seem completely scatter brained, but try to follow along!

So lets go all the way back to January 30th, the day we got discharged. That day was filled with more emotion than I will ever be able to explain. It was filled with tears of joy and sobs of sadness and frustration. I wanted so badly to leave every part of the hospital back at the hospital, I quickly realized that day that our journey was just beginning. Many of the things that overtook our room at the hospital are in this very apartment because Kaleb needs them to continue to gain strength. As much as we both wanted for him to be completely healed when we left the hospital that just wasn't what God had planned for us. So after an exhausting day of trying to make my new home feel more like a home and less like. hospital I was exhausted. I felt as though I had the biggest weight in the world resting on my chest and at any moment my chest was going to give way and the world was just going to come down. It never fails though that when I think God has forgotten all about us he shows me that he truly is in control of this situation. At about ten at night Kaleb called me in to show me controllable kicking his leg! It was just what I needed to remember God is much bigger than my emotions!

Since that night God has continued to show me that he is in the business of miracles, they just happen in his time and not mine. Kaleb will be able to walk with the strength of his left leg. I still believe however that he will walk again! I believe God is working miracles and that he is using Kaleb to reach so many people. The amount of people that have written me on a social media and tell me they are praying for us is truly amazing. The fact that the young GAs are so intrigued with what God is doing with Kaleb reminds me that everything will bring The Lord glory.

There are so many days where I feel as though I am walking a thin line between a nurse and a girlfriend. There are days that I want to sit down and just yell at God for giving me this trial. I wonder why me so very often, and then I think about Moses who asked God why him. He even told God that there were others more equipped and yet God answered every question showing him why he was fit for the job and how The Lord would fill the gals he thought he had. I so often why me but then The Lord gives me the strength or other gifts to make it through this challenge.

So for now I will listen to psalm 13...

How long, Lord ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord ’s praise, for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13:1-6 NIV)

In this one chapter David's heart went from heavy and filled with sorrow, to rejoicing. He says that he will sing in The Lord's praise because he has been good to me. That is one thing I need to cherish close to my heart, that no matter how hard it seems to be The Lord has blessed me beyond all means. I will continue to wait upon The Lord and his awesome and mighty healing powers.

Thank you for your love and prayers,

Brittany Marie

Its a "See You Later", not a "Goodbye"

As we sit here tonight embracing the fact that tonight is our last night as patients' of Craig Hospital I can't help but shed a tear or two. Thinking back to our first day here, November 19, I can't help but recall the fear I felt. It was the beginning of an adventure that I was terrified to be apart of. From the moment we arrived the future was right in our face. The second we pulled up there were people seating on the sky bridge, in at that point in time the dreaded wheelchairs. As the days continued the adjustments started coming in waves. Our lives were changing and they were changing fast. Kaleb quickly grabbed ahold of each and every trial that was put in front of him and defeated them.

One phrase I so often caught myself using during our stay here at Craig's was "I am to little". Today once again I took something that I thought I was at one point to little to do and proved myself wrong. Which seems to be the theme while we have been here at Craig. So often do we think we cannot do something and within a matter of time we have figured out our own way of doing it. 

Our life will not be easy, and will be filled with so many challenges. But in reality no ones life is easy, everyone's lives are filled with some sort of challenge. It truly is all about who's hand you are holding while going through it. I have been blessed with being able to hold Kaleb's hand while we adjust our lives and enjoy every minute of it. 

So tonight we wrap up one chapter of our life. Tonight we say "see you later" to so many members of Craig's hospital. Tonight I sit here and cry. I cry because I see how many of these people have become attached to my amazing boyfriend. I watched as his PT therapist had such a hard time saying goodbye. He has truly enjoyed watching how much amazing progress Kaleb has made, and wishes so very much that he was able to continue Kaleb's recovery. 

I know that Kaleb is going to continue to wow us all with his amazing recovery! Please continue to pray for his healing and strength! Though this is the end of our journey as in patients at Craig's, this is still a very hard adjustment and we still need your prayers. I for one still 100% believe that God will heal Kaleb! I know God has some amazing plans for him and I feel blessed to be apart of it, and so should all of you. 

Goodnight and God Bless,
Brittany Marie

Standing still, sprinting to the finish line

So much has happened since the last time I sat down and blogged. The biggest greatest thing to happen since November 10th happened a little less than a week ago. On January 7, 2013 I received the greatest phone call I could ever imagine. Kaleb called me shortly after I had left the hospital to tell me that he was able to controllable move his big toe on his left foot. Tears of joy streamed down my face as I thanked God for this incredible blessing! This small movement was exactly what we both needed. This movement showed us that God has prefect timing for everything and that when he is ready Kaleb will walk again.

Since the accident I can't help but feel like time has completely stood still. Yes, we have started a completely new year in a new city with a new plan, but for Kaleb and I both it is like the world has continued spinning while we live in this bubble at Craig hospital. And yet it is like we are in some marathon race to have him completely ready for discharge on January 30th. It is like whether we like it or not our lives are both standing still and yet spinning out if control at the same time.

I may not have any control over what is happening in our lives but I have a God who has a perfect plan who I know will provide. I know that Kaleb will walk, simple things like the increase spasms and the big toe movement remind me that God is completely in control! So I ask and beg that you continue to join me in praying for our lives; pray for guidance, strength, and healing for Kaleb's body! O know God hears the prayers of his children, and answers them.

God bless you,
Brittany Marie

Not the Christmas We Dreamed of

Well, today is December 26, which means yesterday was Christmas, it wasn't the Christmas we dreamed of but it was Christmas. This year our Christmas was supposed to be spent with my family back home in Albuquerque. We had been planning on this for months, and come to find out he had been planning on it for more than just Christmas. Well, do to the accident our Christmas was spent in Englewood, Colorado at Craig Hospital. It was anything but the Christmas we had planned on except for one very important thing, we were still able to spend it together. 

It was my very first Christmas ever without my family and lets just say I was a bit over emotional when I landed on Christmas Eve. I could not control the tears as they continued to flow all day and night. I wanted nothing more than to be home with my family singing "Silent Night" while my entire family somehow fits onto one pew. I wanted to be there when my "little" brother came into my room way to early in the morning to see if I would creep our presents with him. I wanted to be there when our family gathered to share an amazing meal together. I would have continued to be a dramatic over emotional mess on Christmas morning if it wasn't for the amazing man that I had decided to spend my Christmas with. 

I woke up Christmas morning and was completely prepared to cry and pout all Christmas Day, and I would have if it wasn't for Kaleb. From the second I walked into the hospital room I realized that though I plan on spending every other Christmas with my family I am so blessed that I will have him right there with me. It wasn't the Christmas I had dreamed of but Christmas with the Wilson's turned out to be perfect in its own little way. There was joyful chaos as presents were torn open, there was eating until we felt like we were going to burst, there was afternoon naps, and there was the love of family. We may not have been where we each wanted to be, but we were all with Kaleb which is where we each wanted to be. 




Yes, Kaleb and I's life is completely different from I would have ever imagined but one thing has not changed... the way we love each other. We have been able to sit on the couch together the last two nights and for those moments we are the exact same couple that we have been. We are weird and dorky but we are in love and at the end of the day that is all that matters. 

I know God has one incredible plan for us and I know God will either heal Kaleb or give us the strength to handle this new challenge. I ask that all of you continue to join us in prayer as this is still a very new injury. I know there is an amazing amount of power in prayer and so for that very reason I will never cease in praying for the love of my life. 

Have a very blessed night,
Brittany Marie

Just one step closer

Though I would never ever ask this to happen to someone else, I will admit that we are closer now than we have ever been. It has taught me to love him in a completely submissive way, while at the same time teaching him how to be served. It has showed me that no matter the challenges life may bring us, they are so much easier to face when I have him with me.

So though this isn't what I wanted I have loved every minute of it, and will continue to cherish every day together.

One life...

The amount of times that I have set next to Kaleb and asked "why us," has now become countless, but then he looks at me with those loving eyes and simply replies "because God knows we can handle it." This I know is true, I know God will not give us something that we cannot handle, and yet I will forever question why us. 

However the call I just received gave me a glimpse into the why us. The last person I ever thought would tell me he was praying for us just called and said that exact thing. My biological father told me that at church on Wednesday he sat and asked God to heal Kaleb. Now this is remarkable because for some odd reason he is not a fan of the amazing Kaleb Wilson. He said he realized that life isn't all about the fancy toys, the promotions, or the wild and crazy Saturday nights. But life is about the ones you love, and completely humbling yourself for God's will. These are words I never expected to hear out of him. 

So I guess for now the "why us" is that hopefully our testimony will bring at least one life closer to God.